It's been exactly 6 weeks since my mom left this life to be with God.
I wish I could say that it's gotten easier, but it hasn't. I routinely burst into uncontrollable sobs at the drop of a hat. I couldn't handle sitting through a church service for pretty much the whole month of October. Today was our first day back in church since October 6th. (Granted, we were out of town two weekends in row, but still missed church two other weeks.)
I managed to get through church without sobbing, which was excellent, especially considering I was singing in the choir and playing piano for all three services.
I feel like I go from being so wholly overwhelmed by grief to being so busy that I can't think of anything but the task at hand. Two weeks after I got home from Mom's funeral, my co-worker at the school announced she was leaving for a new job. I was offered the promotion into the administrative assistant/office manager position, and after talking it over with my husband, accepted it. That left me with exactly 3.5 days to train before my coworker left. I've been in the position for exactly two weeks and have been completely exhausted by it. I hardly ever get to see my husband, since he doesn't get home until 6:30 most days, and I'm brain-dead by that point. We are definitely going through a rough adjustment period. The upside to all of this is that I'm too busy to spend the whole day sobbing. But I am more than happy to have the day off tomorrow.
We're heading into what is usually my favorite time of year - Thanksgiving. I confess that I'm having trouble getting excited about the holidays this year. It just doesn't seem the same without Mom. I don't know what it will be like to not be able to call her and talk about dinner menus and cooking techniques and football and whatever else we'd end up discussing.
I am not looking forward to the holidays without Mom, but I definitely want to honor her this winter. I just made my Wish List on Compassion International's website. Every year, they have a gift catalog to help those who are in most need of help. The last couple of years, my parents and I did not give each other gifts, but chose gifts through Compassion or Gospel for Asia in each other's honor instead.
I'm hoping that anyone who wants to honor my Mom's memory will choose to give instead of receive this year. Think of all the good we can do, all those we could help if we'd be willing to give up our own gifts and help provide medical care, food, clean water, shelter, education, and disaster relief for the least of these!
If you are interested, please click here: http://wishlist.compassion.com/rja2013_list
And hug your loved ones, remember to tell them you love them.