Sunday, June 10, 2018

Thankful for migraines?

This month, I have been trying to focus intentionally on thankfulness.  Over and over again in Scripture, God commands us to rejoice and give thanks.  I have been woefully deficient in this for many years. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 - Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Philippians 4:6 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving present your requests to God. 

Colossians 4:2 - Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving. 

Ephesians 5:18-20 - And do not be drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

I've heard many pastors talk about giving thanks in all things.  No matter what our circumstances, we can always be thankful to God - for His love, our salvation, justification, His presence, His provision, and so many other things.  And while it is hard to give thanks to God when life is hard and painful, I have tended to think of thanking and praising God through pain as "a sacrifice of praise."

But this morning, I woke up with a bad migraine. Bad enough that I was crying while driving to get my groceries.  I admitted to God that I am having a hard time being thankful, because I really miss my husband and was in such excruciating pain. As I was talking, I admitted that I really don't know how to be obedient to Ephesians 5 - how to give thanks for all things

How do I give thanks for a disease that leaves me in terrible pain, plays with my emotions and contributes to depression, and causes me to miss out on social events and has caused me to lose countless friends? How do I give thanks for something that negatively impacts every aspect of my life? 

Oh, I can be immensely grateful that I just went 17 days between migraines - possibly the longest I've ever gone between attacks since my diagnosis in 2005. I can be grateful for my medicine and for ice packs and for a loving husband who takes care of me even though care-taking during illness doesn't come very naturally to him.

But how can God expect me to be thankful for the migraine disease itself?

Well, God gave me an answer today at church.  I wasn't sure how I was going to make it, but Grandma really wanted to go to church, so I took meds and prayed for strength. Boy, am I glad I did.

Our pastor was preaching from Mark 2, and near the end of the sermon he started talking about how two of the hardest things for us are submission to the Word and suffering.  But it was what he said next that struck me right in the heart:

"We can thank God for our suffering, because anything that brings us to the throne of God, to get us to admit that we can do nothing on our own, to get us to rely on the strength of Christ, is worth rejoicing over."

There it is.

My answer.

Straight from God, to my heart.

I can be thankful for my migraines, because they cause me to admit my own weakness.  They cause me to rely on God.  I can only rely on His strength when I admit my own weaknesses.

So thank you, Jesus, for giving me migraines.  Thank you for giving me something that leads me to your throne. Something that leads me to sit in your lap and hold on while you carry me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

Friday, June 8, 2018

Hi, gorgeous!

I went to our local zoo today. Alone, since my husband is out of town this weekend.  It was over 90 degrees at 9 a.m., and I got ridiculously overheated, had a major headache by the time I left an hour and a half (and 3.25 miles) later.  But it was worth it, for a few reasons.

First, I got to see the new baby bobcat. 


He's just over 6 weeks old. And absolutely adorable.  Because I arrived just when the zoo opened, I got to enjoy a few minutes alone with him in the baby nursery.  I just wanted to cuddle!

I made today primarily about the big cats.  I was able to make eye contact with almost every one of them. 

Samson, the head lion, chilling out on his pedestal.

The white Lioness, who had just been enjoying some, er, private time with the other African lion.

The Bengal tiger (who had the best idea and was hanging out in his personal pool) and Cheetah


And one of the mountain lions, who had great fun playing with me. He "hunted" me by sneaking up and jumping up at me against the fence when I walked up. Boy, did I jump!! Then we ran back and forth (each on our own side of the enclosure, of course) and made lots of eye contact with each other. He might have been lonely, because his mate and their babies weren't in the enclosure with him today.

My husband always teases me, because whenever we see the big cats, I have a tendency to coo over them, speak to them, and, in general, wish I could lay down and snuggle with them. 

Today, I kept greeting them with, "Hi, gorgeous!" They are truly majestic creatures. And, with so few people around, I almost always was able to talk to them alone.

At one point, after talking to the mountain lion, telling him how wonderfully gorgeous he was, I felt God prompting me.

You know how excited you get to see each of these amazing big cats?  How big you smile upon seeing them? How you long to put your arms around them?  That's how I feel, too. 

My first thought was how amazing it was that God and I both get so excited about these cats, how wonderfully made they are, how powerful and glorious.  I was feeling so thankful that my Father and I shared this love together. It was like the feeling I got when I was a kid and starting loving history as much as my Dad.  It's wonderful to know that you take after your daddy in some way.

But then, God nudged me (as if with his elbow), saying,

Yes, I love these animals. But I feel the same way about you.  I get excited every time I see you. I speak to you, no matter who is around, and put my arms around you and snuggle.  Whenever you get excited and express your love for these cats, remember that I am excited for you and love you, too! 

Thank you, Jesus, for the reminder.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am the daughter of the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, Almighty God.

I'm never going to apologize for how happy these cats make me. Because now, every time I look at them, I'll think of God looking at me.  And when He does, He smiles at me and says, "Hi, gorgeous!"

~R

Psalm 24
The earth is the LORD's, and all its fullness,
The world and those who dwell therein.
For He has founded it upon the seas,
And established it upon the waters. 

Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.

He shall receive blessing from the LORD,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face. Selah

Lift up your heads, O you gates!
And be lifted up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of glory shall come in.

Who is this King of glory? 
The LORD strong and mighty,
The LORD mighty in battle.
Lift up your heads, O you gates!

Lift up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of glory shall come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The LORD of hosts,
He is the King of glory. Selah