A Season of "No"

For the past eight months or so, I've been in a season of "No." 

For all of 2012, I have been praying for wisdom and for guidance from God when it comes to my career and to the ways I serve Him.  My husband and I both started praying this way last fall, when our church worked through the book of James in both our sermons and our small group bible studies. 

Our primary focus was James 1:5 - "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him."

God has been so faithful to answer in this.  He gave my husband the go-ahead to quit his teaching job (where he was absolutely miserable every day) and to start looking for other work.  He provided a jot b with an amazing boss and helped my husband pass his state licensing exam on the first try (something only about 40% of first-time test takers do on this particular test).  And just to show off a little, God ensured that my husband's previous employer chose to waive the $2500 "damages" - it's basically a fine they slap on teachers who try to quit.  Since we don't have $2500 to our name, this is huge for us.

God has been faithful to provide for us.  But He's also been faithfully telling me "No" on most every one of the ideas I have or directions I think I might be able to go.  It's no secret to my family that I haven't been especially happy in my job.  It's not that anything unpleasant or bad is happening; it's just that what I love most about my job I can't do.  I love teaching because I love forming relationships with my students and encouraging them even if they never come to enjoy studying my subject.  But teaching online, from so far away, means that I don't get any real interaction with my students.  I feel more like a lecturing, grading, tech support employee than a teacher who is invested in their students.  I'm been praying for months that I'd be able to do something else that doesn't leave me working at home, alone all week, with no interactions with other people until my husband is home at night.

I can't even count all the things I've considered over the past year.  I've applied to probably 100 jobs - of all of them, I had two phone interviews, one in-person interview, and had the potential for one job until the employer found out that the position (a contract position) was not at all what he had been told and I had to decline.  I've thought seriously about returning to school to train in a new field - to the point that I spent a month getting all sorts of ridiculous things (like my high school vaccination records!) and applying to the major university here.  I've applied to serve as a volunteer in various ministries in town.

And every single time, God's answer was, "No."  Every door was shut.  The timing was bad. The leaders had no interest in me being scheduled to help. The circumstances radically changed. Oh, there were a few things, like returning to school, that I could have pushed.  Obviously, they accepted me without any problems. But God clearly said, "Okay, I let you pursue this to this point, but now my answer is no.  You are not supposed to go this way."  So I pulled back and stopped.

I freely admit that it has been extremely frustrating for me.  I am not a patient woman, unfortunately.  I have never been good at waiting - for other people, for myself, or for my God. But I keep remembering this:

"For I know that the LORD is great, and that our Lord is above all gods.  Whatever the LORD pleases, He does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps.  He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightnings for the rain and brings forth the wind from his storehouses." ~Psalm 135:5-7

And: "In his heart, a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." ~Proverbs 16:9

Ultimately, my life is not about what *I* want or think or plan.  It's about what my Lord Jesus Christ wants and plans for me.  In this long season of "No," I am learning little by little what it means to try to set aside what I think is good or right or useful.  I am learning to really trust that He is in control, and that if He is closing a door, then He has something else planned.  I'm praying that He helps me to be still enough to hear what He says next.  I don't want to miss his "Yes," but even more do I want to ensure I don't rush ahead when he's saying no.

I know that the God I serve is faithful.  He is the one who guides my steps, even if, for now, He's mainly trying to get me to live out my least favorite verse:

"Be still, and know that I AM God." ~Psalm 46:10

Blogging for Compassion

This is my very first post as a Compassion Blogger.

You might be wondering what a Compassion Blogger even is.  That's a good question! Basically, it's someone who is volunteering to devote some or all of their blog space to advocating for the children whose families are helped by Compassion International.  Compassion is a non-profit organization that is working to combat extreme poverty and all the problems that accompany it by meeting the needs of children and their families around the world. 

Compassion partners with local churches to provide medical treatment, education, leadership development, childcare education, and, most importantly, the hope that Christ Jesus offers to millions of children and their families.  Compassion sponsors, like me, support one child (and their family) with only $38 per month and as much prayer and correspondence as you can offer your child. Millions of families barely survive on less than $2 per month, so Compassion sponsors can help bring about immense change in the community through their pooled resources. Compassion also works to meet desperate medical needs and helps empower the local churches to respond in disasters and emergency situations (like they did quickly and successfully in Haiti). 

I have been a Compassion sponsor since I was in college.  My sophomore year of college, we had a Compassion table set up at the back of the chapel after one of our weekly chapel/convocations.  A friend and I were both looking at the pictures of these beautiful children who desperately needed hope.  At the time, neither of us earned much money, but we were both drawn to this absolutely gorgeous little girl in El Salvador named Fatima.  She was only 3 years old and already a heart-breaker.  My friend and I both fell in love with her on sight and decided to co-sponsor her as long as we could.  We were especially excited because we both spoke Spanish fluently and were excited that we would be able to write directly to our little girl in her heart language. 

For about 6 years, including three after we graduated from college and went separate ways, my friend and I sponsored Fatima and loved her from afar.  We sent birthday gifts and wrote her as often as we could.  My heart always leaped whenever we'd get a letter from her, especially after she learned to read and write.  I still treasure a picture we received from her - with her birthday money, she had picked out this gaudy, multi-colored mattress.  The picture of her laying on this bright mattress is one of my most treasured possessions.

After six years, though, the logistics didn't work to keep co-sponsoring from opposite sides of the country. My friend kept up with Fatima, and I started sponsoring a little boy in southern Mexico named Omar.  I sponsored him for over 7 years, until his family moved away from the area, but was blessed to watch him grow into a handsome, athletic young man.  His father is a fisherman and they lived in a small village on the southern coast just across from the Yucatan Peninsula.  Through letters and photos, I watched Omar grow from a rambunctious 7-year old to a wonderful, loving 14-year old.  He always called me Madrina (Godmother) in his letters; I so loved writing him and sharing with him how special he is to Jesus and to me.  While my sponsorship of Omar had to end when his family moved, I still look forward to meeting him some day.

I now sponsor a cute little 4-year-old, Michal, whose family also lives in a small village in Mexico.  While it has been a challenge to communicate since he is so young, I look forward to watching him grow into a godly young man. 

While my life has changed drastically since I first started sponsoring Fatima - I've gone from a single, active 19-year-old in college to a 30-year-old married history professor - I honestly believe that my relationship with these three precious children has been one of the most significant parts of my life.  Whatever else has happened, I know that God has worked in these three children and their families, and He allowed me to be even a tiny part of it. 

So many children around the world are living in desperate poverty, without adequate food, clean water, basic medications, education, housing, or hope.  Through your help - prayers and a few skipped take-out meals a month - these children can have hope for a future.  You can help meet their physical needs and their vocational needs.  But most importantly, you can help them learn about the solution to their greatest need: the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Will you help bring hope to the hopeless and help to those most in need?

Go to Compassion.com to see where you can help meet these needs.  If you are a blogger and want to join me in advocating for these precious children, go to compassionbloggers.com.  Here, you can learn more about blogging for the cause, with information on these topics:

1. Why blog for Compassion?
2. See a list of who else is blogging for Compassion
3. Read posts from bloggers who joined Compassion in Tanzania in 2012

Please consider giving a little of your time and blog space to share in Compassion's mission. 

Nehemiah

For the past 5 weeks, I've been studying Nehemiah along with a few thousand other women via the Living Proof Ministries blog.  We've been going through Kelly Minter's study, "Nehemiah: A Heart That Can Break."  And can I just say, God has been kicking my butt through this study. 

In a good way.

Here's a few of the things God has been doing or saying since I started the study:

1 - Along with the sermon at church the first week of the study, God made it clear that a heritage of faith is a vital component for my life.  The night I studied this, I started thinking about calling my grandparents to thank them for their unending devotion to Christ and their encouragement in my own faith over the years.  Before calling, though,  I was doing genealogy research and found a letter from an ancestor who lived in the 1700s talking about the importance of trusting God and His Word.  I shared it with my pastor, who then shared an excerpt with the whole church.  The letter was that awesome.

2 - Near the end of the first week, God seriously convicted me that I have a huge problem with unbelief, or lack of faith.  You see, when things start going wrong, my first inclination is not to turn to Him and see what He wants me to do.  My first move is almost always to fret and worry and try to figure out (in my own power) how to fix it.  Then I vent and freak out a bit. And then I talk with my husband or my mom.  And then, maybe, once I've screwed up, I turn to God. 

I have it totally backwards, folks.  God says, "Come to me with your worries and concerns, and I'll take care of you."  "Look to me first, before you do anything else, because I alone know the future and can direct you in the right path." 

One of the huge concerns for my husband and me this summer has been our job situation.  After months of prayer and consideration, my husband decided to quit his job teaching junior high school.  The morning that God was convicting me of my failure to trust Him with these things, my husband had an interview.  And the exact moment I was asking for forgiveness and asking God to give me faith and teach me to trust Him, my beloved was being told, "Go home and think about it for a day, but if you want the job, it's yours."  And when I say the exact moment, I mean pretty much the exact moment.  How awesome a God do we serve??!!

3. My heart needs to break.  While I like to think of myself as a compassionate person, studying Nehemiah has really brought home the fact that I am primarily selfish and hard-hearted.  My prayer right now is for God to break my heart with the things that break His heart.

This is only a small taste of what God has been showing me through this study.  While I had read Nehemiah a few times before, I have never fully studied it like this - oh, what I've been missing!! I absolutely love the fact that God's Word is always fresh and "useful for instruction," as Paul said. 

God declared that His Word is living and active.  How precious is His Word.  I encourage you, dear friends, to spend as much time as you can studying it.  You're not just reading a book; you're hearing from and about the living God, the I AM, who wants to tell you this: He loves you!

The Word

In my last post, I started off this series by considering briefly a few of the reasons why we as Christians believe that the Bible is the standard upon which we base our lives, and why we believe it is the inspired, inerrant Word of God. 

In that post, we considered why men and women trust in the Word of God. But what about that Word?  What does God himself say about His scripture?

What God says about His Word

All scripture is inspired by God and useful for us

God’s word is a lamp unto our feet, and a light unto our path (Psalm 119:105).

God’s words give light and understanding to the simple (Psalm 119:130).

Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All scriptures are God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

* Did you catch that? All scriptures are God-breathed. Not just some of them. Not everything except the first chapter of Genesis. All scriptures come directly from God.

The author of Hebrews declared, “God’s word is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

* It is living and penetrating - perhaps this is why so many refuse to believe that the Bible is wholly and uncompromisingly true.  If you trust that all scriptures come directly from the LORD, you have to accept its ability to penetrate and judge your own thoughts and attitudes. 

God’s word is our very bread (Matthew 4:4).

His Word is perfect

God’s words are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times (Psalm 12:7).

God’s word is right and true; He is faithful in all He does (Psalm 33:4).

God’s every word is flawless (Proverbs 30:5). 

Jesus himself declared that His words are holy and true (Revelation 3:7).

* If you proclaim Christ as your Lord, yet deny that His words are fully true, you are calling Jesus a liar.

The Word brings life

Moses exclaimed to the people of Israel that God’s words to His people are life (Deuteronomy 32:47).

James declared that God gave us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all He created (James 1:18).

God grants eternal life, not condemnation, to those who hear His word and believe (John 5:23).

His words are spirit and life (John 6:63).


His Word will never pass away

God’s word is eternal – it stands firm in the heavens (Psalm 119:89).

God’s word stands forever (Isaiah 40:8).

God’s words will never pass away or lose their power (Matthew 24:35).

Peter declared that God’s word stands forever (1 Peter 1:25) and that God’s word created the heavens and the earth, destroyed the earth with the flood, and reserves the present heavens and earth for fire (2 Peter 3:5-7).

*No matter what this world endures, and no matter how much we lose historically, God's word always endures.  There is no reason why we should have complete books written three thousand years ago, when for much of antiquity we have only single-parchment scraps. But God's word endures.

God's word will always come true, no matter what

God declared that He remembers His covenant forever, and His word for a thousand generations (1 Chronicles 16:15).

 His word is not chained (2 Timothy 2:9).

God’s word will not return to Him empty, but will accomplish what He desires and achieve the purpose for which He sent it (Isaiah 55:11).

God proclaimed that He always fulfills His word (2 Kings 10:10).

* All you have to do is look at the prophecy in scripture to see that God is faithful to keep His promises.  Though the Jewish people were kicked out of the land of Israel for over 1878 years, God did not forget His promise to bring them back to the land, and did so in 1948. But keep in mind that this means His judgment will come as well as His mercy.  When God proclaims that the world will be judged, you can be assured that it will be. You cannot separate God's mercy and love from His holiness and righteousness.

Jesus IS the WORD of God!

John declared that God is the Word of Life, and that He appeared to us (1 John 1:1-2).

* Who is that Word who appeared to us? Jesus Christ, the second person of the trinity and our Lord and God!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1).

Jesus is the Word of God (Revelation 19:13).

* If you proclaim Christ as Lord and your God, and that His Word is true and completely useful for your righteousness, you cannot claim to only believe one section of scripture. If Jesus is the WORD, and all scripture is God-breathed, you cannot profess to follow Christ and yet deny all that He (God) said in the Old Testament. If Jesus is God, the Word, and the Bible is His holy Word, then the words of God in Exodus are just as true as the words of God in John.


These are just a sampling of the statements God made about His Word.  When we reject the Word of God, we reject Him and call Him a liar. If you profess to follow Christ and simultaneously deny the truth of His Word, my question is this: why do you follow Christ at all? If His Word is not reliable, then why do you trust in Christ in the first place?

Who is God, part 1

Who is God?

It seems that everyone these days has an opinion about who God is, and what He’s like. Some prefer to picture God as a grandfatherly person sitting up in heaven just waiting to take care of you and help you out because he loves you. Others picture God as the clock maker – the creator who lets things work on their own and does not really intervene in daily life.  Still others depict God as a horrible, judgmental being who condemns people unjustly, is the reason for pain and suffering, and should be hated and reviled.  Still others depict God as Jesus Christ, the perfect man who did not sin and who does not condemn but forgives and accepts all who come to him.

There are probably as many different depictions of God as there are people in the world.  And these days, there are many depictions of God that sound wonderful but deny who He says He is. So which of these – if any – is right?

We are left with these questions:

Who is God, really? 

What is He really like? 
What does He say about Himself?
How can we describe Him?
How do we know for sure? 

Let’s embark on a journey to find out more about the God we serve.

How do we know anything about God?

Our first question needs to be, “How do we know anything about this God?” How is it that we, as human beings, know anything about God?  Your answer to this question is vitally important, because it sets the stage for everything else that we are going to explore.

As Christians, we believe that we can know about God and who He says He is by reading the holy scriptures He has given us: the Bible.

What is the Bible?  It is a collection of 66 “books” written by upwards of 40 different authors over the course of perhaps 2000 years, in three different languages (Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek), directed and given by God to reveal Himself to us.

You might be thinking, “How can that possibly be the work of God, when you just said it was written by all different people over a huge amount of time?”  That’s a good question, one that goes to the heart of the question of reliability.  To be reliable we want evidence that we can trust that what it says is true and trustworthy.

First, let me say that we have more ancient copies of portions of the Bible than we have of any other ancient text. Despite what secularists claim, we have almost no evidence of the message of any part of scripture being deliberately or unconsciously changed over time.[1] 

One of the best tests we have to prove the reliability of scripture is through the evidence of fulfilled prophecy.  The Bible is filled with hundreds upon hundreds of prophecies that were totally and completely fulfilled.  While this project cannot fully identify all the prophecies that were fulfilled, here are just a few to consider:

1. God told the people of the southern tribes of Judah that they would be taken captive by the   Babylonians (led by Nebuchadnezzar) – see the writings of Jeremiah and Ezekiel. Nebuchadnezzar’s armies did in fact come and destroyed Jerusalem in 609 BC. 
2. God predicted that Babylon would rule over the Israelites in captivity for 70 years (Jeremiah 25:11-12) – and Cyrus the Great of Persia conquered Babylon exactly 70 years later.
3. God predicted that there would be 4 great empires: Babylon, represented by the lion with eagles’ wings; a second empire “raised up on one side” that conquered three kingdoms; a third kingdom that would conquer swiftly but then be broken into multiple parts, and a fourth kingdom that would conquer the world and would be the last great empire of man (see Daniel 2:32-33 and Daniel 7).  These perfectly predict the 4 great kingdoms: Babylon; the Medo-Persian Empire (where the Persians were ascendant over the Medes) who conquered the Babylonian, Lydian, and Egyptian empires; the Macedonian empire that rose quickly and was divided into 4 parts after Alexander’s death; and the Roman Empire.
4. God predicted that Israel would be expelled from the promised land, but that they would be returned, and that the land would be fully restored. In the 20^th century, Jews returning to Palestine restored the land and the nation was recreated in one day in 1948.

 Some theologians have also pointed out that the very notion of “standards of truth” come from no other legitimate source but that of God and His word.  Consider our relatively universal assumptions about our life and our universe:

1)      The universe works according to laws that are understandable and that exist virtually everywhere, no matter who is observing.

2)      The human mind must be capable of rational analysis.

3)      Lying is wrong.

If the universe came together by virtue of totally random physical processes, why then would we expect that there should be universal laws that work everywhere?  Why should the world be understandable and logical?  For that matter, why should we be able to understand it at all?  And if what I'm saying about God is a conscious lie, why would that be wrong?[2]  Outside of the standards that God provided for us, we ultimately have a hard time answering the questions listed above. 

We also could look to the thousands upon thousands whose lives have been changed completely by placing their faith in the Word and the God who wrote it.  Ultimately, however, there is nothing that I can say that will convince someone that the Bible is the Word of God if they do not have faith in God in the first place.

 

It is a matter of faith.  So I'm going to stop trying to persuade.  This is just preliminary, however, to the main question - who is this God that we say we serve? 

How can we serve a God that we don't take the time to get to know?  Romans 10:17 says, "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." 

I want us to take a look at who God says He is in His Word.  My starting point is that the Bible is the inerrant, inspired Word of God that can be fully trusted and is the basis for my faith. So now, let's start getting to know our great God!

---

[1] Adapted from The 10 Most Common Objections to Christianity, by Alex McFarland. Published by Regal Books, Ventura, Ca., 2007, 1-800-4-GOSPEL, www.regalbooks.com.

[2] Jason Lisle, “How to do ‘Foolproof’ Apologetics,” in How do We Know the Bible is True? Vol I, edited by Ken Ham and Bodie Hodge (Green Forest, AR: Master Books, 2011), chapter 10.

I've been a bad blogger the last six months. It's not that important things haven't been happening - they have. But I've had little energy to write what I've been feeling and thinking. For once, I've been a bit too busy living my life to spend so much time pondering it.

Aside from the struggles and joys of being a newlywed, teaching courses for students who live just under 4,000 miles away, health problems for both me and my husband (and the cats!), singing in my church choir and Christmas cantata, having family visit a few days, and being part of two bible study groups, one of the real joys I've had this year is my renewed love for reading.

I have always been a voracious reader. As a child, I would often get yelled at for not coming down to dinner on time because I was too engrossed in a book. I would build sheet tents in my bedroom and read for hours, or hide a flashlight in bed so I could read long after I was supposed to have my lights out. This love of reading was well and strong until I started graduate school. I had so much work to do - which, usually, involved reading at least one book per week per course - that I never had time to read for fun. In the 7 years I was in grad school, I maybe read 15 books for fun. Usually, I was just too exhausted to read by the time I was done with work and teaching.

One of my joys the past six months is that I have been reading like crazy. I've read 39 complete books since we got married (6 of them just in the week since Christmas day!).  I'm also in the middle of three more books. Some I wanted to read for work. Some I wanted to read to give my spirit a joy-lift.  And others are just goofy fun, or that I'm reading in part to have something to share with my husband.  I want to remember what I've read, so I'm making a list:

Horus Heresy Books - these are science fiction books in a series that my husband loves, related to miniatures gaming that he's been involved with for 20 years. Not my usual cup of tea, but it gives us something to enjoy together, so I'm learning to play the game and read the novels.
• Dan Abnett, Horus Rising
• Graham McNeill, False Gods
• Ben Counter, Galaxy in Flames
• James Swallow, The Flight of the Eisenstein
• Graham McNeill, Fulgrim
• Mitchel Scanlon, Descent of Angels
• Mike Lee, Fallen Angels

Jean Plaidy Books - I discovered this writer of historical fiction novels and fell in love. They are well-researched and have good bibliographies and, so far at least, are fairly accurate historically. They're also just great fun!
• The Courts of Love: The Story of Eleanor of Aquitaine
• Katharine of Aragon: The Story of a Spanish Princess and an English Queen
• The Reluctant Queen: The Story of Anne of York
• To Hold the Crown: The Story of King Henry VII and Elizabeth of York
• The Thistle and the Rose: The Story of Margaret, Princess of England, Queen of Scotland
• Murder Most Royal: The Story of Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard
Barbara Johnson Books - these are part of my "joy-lift" for my spirit. Johnson passed away a few years back, but her books are wonderful little love letters from God designed to make you laugh while God ministers to your hurting heart.
• Stick a Geranium in Your Hat and Be Happy
• Splashes of Joy in the Cesspools of Life
• Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends
• He’s Gonna Toot and I’m Gonna Scoot
Religious Non-Fiction
• Max Lucado, God’s Story, Your Story: When His Becomes Yours
• Ken Ham, et al, The New Answers Book 3
• Josh Hamilton, Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back
• Steve Saint, End of the Spear
• Steve Saint, Walking His Trail: Signs of God Along the Way
• Elizabeth Elliot, Through Gates of Splendor
• Davey and Marie Jank, Our Witchdoctors Are Too Weak: The Rebirth of an Amazon Tribe
• Dee Brestin and Kathy Troccoli, Falling in Love with Jesus
• Anne Graham Lotz, Expecting to See Jesus: A Wake-up Call for God’s People
• Beth Moore with Dale McCleskey, Jesus the One and Only
More Historical Fiction
• Christi Phillips, The Devlin Diary - I also read her first novel, The Rosetti Letter, and loved both of them.
• Philippa Gregory, The White Queen
• Georgette Heyer, The Conquerer: A Novel of William the Conquerer, the Bastard Son Who Overpowered a Kingdom and the Woman Who Melted His Heart
• Lynn Austin, While We’re Far Apart

Other Fiction
• Star Trek: The Next Generation: Greater than the Sum
• Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, Left Behind
• Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, Tribulation Force
• Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, Nicolae
• Craig Shaw Gardner, The Cylons’ Secret
• Jules Verne, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

History Non-Fiction
• Graeme Donald, The Man Who Shot the Man Who Shot Lincoln and 44 Other Forgotten Figures from History
• Michael Farquhar, A Treasury of Royal Scandals: The Shocking True Stories of History’s Wickedest, Weirdest, Most Wanton Kings, Queens, Tsars, Popes, and Emperors

My favorites were probably the Devlin Diary, both books by Nate Saint, all 4 books by Barbara Johnson, and my two goofy history books.

I have so many books I want to read, and am in the middle of a handul right now:
1. Louisa May Alcott, Little Women - it is still uplifting, even the third time I read it.
2. Adam Selzer, The Smart Aleck's Guide to American History - absolutely hilarious!
3. Barbara Johnson, Living Somewhere Between Estrogen and Death

I also have four more fictional books on tap. I love reading! Happy 2012!!

Hate

I have to confess, I have discovered hatred in my heart. I hate cancer.

Cancer is insidious.  Sometimes it creeps up very slowly, barely perceptible yet devastating.  Sometimes it comes with a bang, overnight and with no warning.  Sometimes its effects are completely visible; sometimes it is a totally invisible disease and you could never guess that it was ravaging someone's body. It morphs and changes and resists treatment at times.

Cancer seems to be literally all around right now. Just a few people I'm praying for right now:
* My mom - living with stage IV metastatic breast cancer for at least the last 2.5 years, despite the destruction of two of the vertebrae in her lower back
* Three of my aunts who have, over the past 3 years, successfully battled stage 1 and in situ breast cancer
* The family of a dear friend from college - her mom passed into eternity early this morning after a very quick fight against ovarian cancer
* The wife of my former pastor, who was just diagnosed with lung cancer a few weeks ago
* The brother of one of the women in my Thursday bible study, who was just diagnosed and is enduring chemotherapy right now
* A 19-year old teen from my parents' church back East who was diagnosed with a brain tumor in April and is enduring months of chemo and stem cell transplant therapy at St. Jude's in Memphis, TN
* A little 7 year-old girl here in town who has also been fighting a terribly aggressive brain cancer for the past two years

And that doesn't count those in my life who have been lost, or who have lost close family members to cancer. One of my mom's closest friends died a few years ago of a very aggressive brain cancer (the exact same cancer that Senator Ted Kennedy fought).  At least two friends have lost their fathers to cancer in the last 5 years. 

I really hate cancer. 

But cancer is not victorious.  Even when, in the case of so many of my friends, it appears to win.  If there is one thing God is making abundantly clear to me this year, it is that HE alone is sovereign.  He alone has power over life and death.  He alone has the power to heal.  He alone deserves glory and honor and praise.  He alone controls the heavens and the earth, and is Lord over all creatures in the heavens and the earth and under the earth. 

We are studying the book of James at church, and the first chapter says:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.  But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" ~James 1:2-5

This week has been full of trials.  Friends and family members passing away.  Spiritual attack.  Painful illness flare-ups.  Frustration. Exhaustion.

But it has also been full of God's faithfulness.  I have never been more sure of my God, my Lord Jesus Christ.  I have never been more sure of His love for me.  I have never been more assured of His sovereignty. 

Oh, Jesus, teach us to love you and to trust you - no matter the circumstances that come our way, even through cancer.