36 and 30

Not my age, nor any other significant numbers that might have crossed your mind when you glanced here.

Those two numbers represent God's faithfulness to me. His faithfulness in revealing Himself when I seek Him, in drawing near to me when I draw near to Him, in never forsaking me, even though I'm an idiot and screw up more than I get things right.

36 days ago, God began a restoration and a renovation in my life, beginning the morning of August 16th, when I opened up my bible in the kitchen since I was in too much pain to drive to church. Since then, I have been spending at least an hour every day in scripture and prayer. Sometimes much longer. Some of the initial euphoria is gone, but it still has been my daily comfort.

30 days ago, I began a journey that will hopefully take through the entire bible in a year, with the goal of seeking what God says about who He is as I go along. With the plan that I chose, I have finished Genesis and am now at Exodus 24 and Matthew 21. I also have over 3 pages (single spaced) identifying things God is showing about Himself. My hope is at the end of the year, I should have a massive file on my computer that is a passing glimpse of Christ.

I am still struggling intensely with loneliness and depression - thanks in part to the migraines that screw with my mood all the time. I'm slowly learning to cry out to God and to "cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)

"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deut 31:6)

"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:15-18)

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." (2 Cor 1:3-5)

"May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight." (Psalms 119:76-77)