I have to confess, I have discovered hatred in my heart. I hate cancer.
Cancer is insidious. Sometimes it creeps up very slowly, barely perceptible yet devastating. Sometimes it comes with a bang, overnight and with no warning. Sometimes its effects are completely visible; sometimes it is a totally invisible disease and you could never guess that it was ravaging someone's body. It morphs and changes and resists treatment at times.
Cancer seems to be literally all around right now. Just a few people I'm praying for right now:
* My mom - living with stage IV metastatic breast cancer for at least the last 2.5 years, despite the destruction of two of the vertebrae in her lower back
* Three of my aunts who have, over the past 3 years, successfully battled stage 1 and in situ breast cancer
* The family of a dear friend from college - her mom passed into eternity early this morning after a very quick fight against ovarian cancer
* The wife of my former pastor, who was just diagnosed with lung cancer a few weeks ago
* The brother of one of the women in my Thursday bible study, who was just diagnosed and is enduring chemotherapy right now
* A 19-year old teen from my parents' church back East who was diagnosed with a brain tumor in April and is enduring months of chemo and stem cell transplant therapy at St. Jude's in Memphis, TN
* A little 7 year-old girl here in town who has also been fighting a terribly aggressive brain cancer for the past two years
And that doesn't count those in my life who have been lost, or who have lost close family members to cancer. One of my mom's closest friends died a few years ago of a very aggressive brain cancer (the exact same cancer that Senator Ted Kennedy fought). At least two friends have lost their fathers to cancer in the last 5 years.
I really hate cancer.
But cancer is not victorious. Even when, in the case of so many of my friends, it appears to win. If there is one thing God is making abundantly clear to me this year, it is that HE alone is sovereign. He alone has power over life and death. He alone has the power to heal. He alone deserves glory and honor and praise. He alone controls the heavens and the earth, and is Lord over all creatures in the heavens and the earth and under the earth.
We are studying the book of James at church, and the first chapter says:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" ~James 1:2-5
This week has been full of trials. Friends and family members passing away. Spiritual attack. Painful illness flare-ups. Frustration. Exhaustion.
But it has also been full of God's faithfulness. I have never been more sure of my God, my Lord Jesus Christ. I have never been more sure of His love for me. I have never been more assured of His sovereignty.
Oh, Jesus, teach us to love you and to trust you - no matter the circumstances that come our way, even through cancer.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Praises
This week has been a trying week, but there is much to celebrate and for which to praise God. Obviously, the first few days of the week were very difficult, learning that Mom's cancer was growing in a new spot again. That day and night for her were awful, and when they tried to do her first radiation treatment, she was in extreme pain and it was pretty traumatic. The nurse was very patient, however, and let Mom figure out a way to move into position that worked for her. Thank God for that nurse!
But things improved after that. They have upped her pain meds quite a bit, and that evening, the thing that never happens in hospitals happened: they let her sleep for 6 hours, uninterrupted! She felt wonderful Thursday, and, after her second radiation treatment, she was discharged! It was really a wonderful day. And, on my end, I managed to record four lectures in two days, so I have a month of lectures ready to go. Yesterday I managed to get access to Blackboard and spent most of the afternoon/evening setting up my two classes. I still don't have an email account, however, so that's problematic for multiple reasons.
Today, my husband and I went to a class for newcomers at our church. It was a really interesting experience, and gives me a lot more confidence that this is the church home God is calling us to. It was also a welcome time for us to be together. Last night we had some things we had to talk through, and it was a bit stressful. So it was nice to have worked through some of that and have time as a couple today.
So yeah... this week has been really hard but God is still good.
But things improved after that. They have upped her pain meds quite a bit, and that evening, the thing that never happens in hospitals happened: they let her sleep for 6 hours, uninterrupted! She felt wonderful Thursday, and, after her second radiation treatment, she was discharged! It was really a wonderful day. And, on my end, I managed to record four lectures in two days, so I have a month of lectures ready to go. Yesterday I managed to get access to Blackboard and spent most of the afternoon/evening setting up my two classes. I still don't have an email account, however, so that's problematic for multiple reasons.
Today, my husband and I went to a class for newcomers at our church. It was a really interesting experience, and gives me a lot more confidence that this is the church home God is calling us to. It was also a welcome time for us to be together. Last night we had some things we had to talk through, and it was a bit stressful. So it was nice to have worked through some of that and have time as a couple today.
So yeah... this week has been really hard but God is still good.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
God is in control, even in these bad circumstances
This is no time for fear. This is a time for faith and determination.
Don't lose the vision here, carried away by the motion.
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart.
There is one thing that will always be true. It holds the world together.
God is in control. We believe that his children will not be forsaken.
God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken.
There is no power above or beside Him.
We know, oh, God is in control.
History marches on. There is a bottom line drawn across the ages.
Culture can make its plan, oh, but the line never changes.
No matter how the deception may fly,
there is one thing that has always been true. It will be true forever.
God is in control. We believe that his children will not be forsaken.
God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken.
There is no power above or beside Him.
We know, oh, God is in control.
He will never let you down. Why start to worry now? Why start to worry now?
He is still the Lord of all we see and He is still the loving Father watching over you and me!
Watching over you, watching over me, watching over everything.
Watching over you, watching over me, every little sparrow, every little king.
God is in control. We believe that his children will not be forsaken.
God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken.
There is no power above or behind Him. We know, oh, God is in control.
~"God is in Control," by Twila Paris
Amen. God is in control.
I need to remember this today, because we got discouraging news about my mom's medical condition. She had been doing so well this year, but then a few things started to happen that were unexpected.
First, she had a kidney stone. It went away easily, so that was good. But then her pain came back stronger. They said she had some infections and put her on antibiotics. But the pain got worse and, over the weekend, they admitted her to the hospital for tests.
Today, they finally gave my parents the diagnoses:
1. Mom has a tumor pressing against her spinal column - the cord itself is undamaged, but it is dangerous and could, if not removed or shrunk, could lead to paralysis.
2. She also has a fracture in her T-9 vertebrae - it sounds like this is at the same place as the tumor.
3. This all indicates that her cancer meds are no longer effective, because they did not prevent the growth of this new tumor.
So the treatment is the following:
1. Steroids to reduce inflammation in her spine
2. Radiation treatment for the tumor
3. New cancer meds in the hopes that a different medicine will keep everything from growing again
4. New medicine to try to strengthen her bones and prevent more fractures.
So... yeah. I'm a bit shell-shocked. I've been expecting this for two years. But it feels like all the air has been sucked out of me again.
But I have this hope - I know that God, the LORD God Almighty, my LORD Jesus Christ is in total control. After I got off the phone with my dad, I started singing praises. Because, ultimately, God is my only hope, and the rock of my salvation. He alone is in control. He has all power and authority over all created things. He alone is God. And, while it might seem strange to praise God after getting horrible news, it felt right. I am totally helpless. I can't make the cancer go away. I can't reduce my mom's pain. I can't give my dad strength. All I can do is pray to my Father, the One who Sees Me. The great healer. The creator God who rules over all. He is in control, and I know His children will never be forsaken.
Praise God with me, and please pray for healing, strength, wisdom, and peace for my parents.
Don't lose the vision here, carried away by the motion.
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart.
There is one thing that will always be true. It holds the world together.
God is in control. We believe that his children will not be forsaken.
God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken.
There is no power above or beside Him.
We know, oh, God is in control.
History marches on. There is a bottom line drawn across the ages.
Culture can make its plan, oh, but the line never changes.
No matter how the deception may fly,
there is one thing that has always been true. It will be true forever.
God is in control. We believe that his children will not be forsaken.
God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken.
There is no power above or beside Him.
We know, oh, God is in control.
He will never let you down. Why start to worry now? Why start to worry now?
He is still the Lord of all we see and He is still the loving Father watching over you and me!
Watching over you, watching over me, watching over everything.
Watching over you, watching over me, every little sparrow, every little king.
God is in control. We believe that his children will not be forsaken.
God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken.
There is no power above or behind Him. We know, oh, God is in control.
~"God is in Control," by Twila Paris
Amen. God is in control.
I need to remember this today, because we got discouraging news about my mom's medical condition. She had been doing so well this year, but then a few things started to happen that were unexpected.
First, she had a kidney stone. It went away easily, so that was good. But then her pain came back stronger. They said she had some infections and put her on antibiotics. But the pain got worse and, over the weekend, they admitted her to the hospital for tests.
Today, they finally gave my parents the diagnoses:
1. Mom has a tumor pressing against her spinal column - the cord itself is undamaged, but it is dangerous and could, if not removed or shrunk, could lead to paralysis.
2. She also has a fracture in her T-9 vertebrae - it sounds like this is at the same place as the tumor.
3. This all indicates that her cancer meds are no longer effective, because they did not prevent the growth of this new tumor.
So the treatment is the following:
1. Steroids to reduce inflammation in her spine
2. Radiation treatment for the tumor
3. New cancer meds in the hopes that a different medicine will keep everything from growing again
4. New medicine to try to strengthen her bones and prevent more fractures.
So... yeah. I'm a bit shell-shocked. I've been expecting this for two years. But it feels like all the air has been sucked out of me again.
But I have this hope - I know that God, the LORD God Almighty, my LORD Jesus Christ is in total control. After I got off the phone with my dad, I started singing praises. Because, ultimately, God is my only hope, and the rock of my salvation. He alone is in control. He has all power and authority over all created things. He alone is God. And, while it might seem strange to praise God after getting horrible news, it felt right. I am totally helpless. I can't make the cancer go away. I can't reduce my mom's pain. I can't give my dad strength. All I can do is pray to my Father, the One who Sees Me. The great healer. The creator God who rules over all. He is in control, and I know His children will never be forsaken.
Praise God with me, and please pray for healing, strength, wisdom, and peace for my parents.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
My problem with self-help philosophy
Being home, with cable tv, has been a bit of a strange experience for me these past two weeks. I didn't have tv this past year, so now being home alone all day means I've rediscovering the (tiny fraction of) good and (large fraction of) bad.
One thing that's new - for me, at least - is this new Oprah network. I see (well, hear, more often, since I tend to use the tv for background noise when I'm working) ads for it almost everywhere. As part of that, I have heard countless commercials for something - I'm not sure if it's a new show or what - that sounds basically like a platform for her "live your best life" philosophy.
Every time I hear it, I have to fight the urge to answer back at the tv. I have nothing against Oprah, and don't usually care one way or the other about what she does. But whenever I hear elements of this self-help philosophy, I want to answer back, "No!!"
You see, this philosophy, this mode of thought that says that you have all that you need inside you to live an awesome life, that if we just look inside and be the better people that's deep inside, we can improve the world - it's incredibly deceptive. It sounds great, right? Who doesn't want to live better? Who doesn't want to be a better person? Who doesn't want to make the world better for their children and their families and friends? There's nothing wrong with that!
But the central deception is this: this worldly philosophy tells you that YOU are the answer. It's all about you, and your goodness.
Paul declared, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrated His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life?" (Romans 5:6-10)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a better world, for wanting to be a better person, for wanting to live the best life. But the catch is that, apart from God, you can do nothing. You are not the source of this change - He is. You are not powerful enough to change the world, but HE is. You are not good, He is.
And when you turn to Him, He gives in abundance. Don't believe me? Listen to what He says.
So the next time you hear anyone teaching that the power is within you, your response should be, "The only power that's in me is that of the Holy Spirit of the Living God!"
One thing that's new - for me, at least - is this new Oprah network. I see (well, hear, more often, since I tend to use the tv for background noise when I'm working) ads for it almost everywhere. As part of that, I have heard countless commercials for something - I'm not sure if it's a new show or what - that sounds basically like a platform for her "live your best life" philosophy.
Every time I hear it, I have to fight the urge to answer back at the tv. I have nothing against Oprah, and don't usually care one way or the other about what she does. But whenever I hear elements of this self-help philosophy, I want to answer back, "No!!"
You see, this philosophy, this mode of thought that says that you have all that you need inside you to live an awesome life, that if we just look inside and be the better people that's deep inside, we can improve the world - it's incredibly deceptive. It sounds great, right? Who doesn't want to live better? Who doesn't want to be a better person? Who doesn't want to make the world better for their children and their families and friends? There's nothing wrong with that!
But the central deception is this: this worldly philosophy tells you that YOU are the answer. It's all about you, and your goodness.
- But scripture says that there is no one who is wholly good, no one who is perfect - "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23)
- But scripture says that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17)
- Scripture also says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)
- Finally, Jesus said, "Why do you call me good? No one is good - except God alone." (Mark 10:18)
- But Christ said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." (Mark 10:27)
- Job cried out, "To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are HIS."
- Jeremiah said, "But God made the earth by his power; He founded the world by His wisdom and stretched out the heavens by His understanding. When He thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; He makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth. He sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from His storehouses."
Paul declared, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrated His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life?" (Romans 5:6-10)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a better world, for wanting to be a better person, for wanting to live the best life. But the catch is that, apart from God, you can do nothing. You are not the source of this change - He is. You are not powerful enough to change the world, but HE is. You are not good, He is.
And when you turn to Him, He gives in abundance. Don't believe me? Listen to what He says.
- The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9)
- The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)
- Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. (Psalm 37:4-6)
- But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33)
- Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)
So the next time you hear anyone teaching that the power is within you, your response should be, "The only power that's in me is that of the Holy Spirit of the Living God!"
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Truth and consequences
I just heard a story that made me pray that God would forgive us for our arrogance and stupidity. The story was that a number of "conservative evangelicals" have come out denying the historical Adam and Eve. Their argument? That "scientific evidence" makes it "unlikely" that the diversity of the genetic code could have begun from one single couple.
So that I don't go on a huge rant, I'll skip right to the heart of the matter. Who are you going to believe - God or man?
Who are you going to trust for truth and morality - the creator God who is wholly good, wholly just, wholly righteous, or humans, who kill, maim, destroy, steal, and hurt each other?
Whose wisdom will you trust - the LORD, who knows all things, created all things, and can "show you great and unsearchable things that you do not know," or that of man, which changes all the time, and which admits that we understand very little of this world.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: Choose you this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. Either God is who He says He is, and His word is true, or he is an invention of crazy people who lived in the Middle East and needed something to explain their world. Choose one.
These church leaders will one day stand before the Lord God Almighty and answer for their choices. So will the rest of us. Choose either to believe God, fully and by faith, or choose to reject His word based on the incompete knowledge of mankind.
So that I don't go on a huge rant, I'll skip right to the heart of the matter. Who are you going to believe - God or man?
Who are you going to trust for truth and morality - the creator God who is wholly good, wholly just, wholly righteous, or humans, who kill, maim, destroy, steal, and hurt each other?
Whose wisdom will you trust - the LORD, who knows all things, created all things, and can "show you great and unsearchable things that you do not know," or that of man, which changes all the time, and which admits that we understand very little of this world.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: Choose you this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. Either God is who He says He is, and His word is true, or he is an invention of crazy people who lived in the Middle East and needed something to explain their world. Choose one.
These church leaders will one day stand before the Lord God Almighty and answer for their choices. So will the rest of us. Choose either to believe God, fully and by faith, or choose to reject His word based on the incompete knowledge of mankind.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
100th post
Wow, has this been an emotionally crazy few weeks. There was all the stress & worry and sobbing about who I am, what God has for me, and how we're paying our bills this month. Then there was a God-inspired revelation that my focus was dead wrong, and that I needed to change where I looked - and to whom I looked - if I wanted any sort of relief. (And if my husband wanted relief from his emotional, sobbing wife.)
Can I just say how phenomenally better I've been the last few days? All the cares still exist, but I have had a peace that I can't understand these last few days. It has been a 100% God-given peace, and He alone should get the glory. Hallelujah, amen!
This week has been one of mini celebrations. My husband's birthday is today, and we don't really have any money for me to splurge on a big gift. So I decided to do something every day of the week to make him feel special. Monday, I baked some cinnamon streusel muffins he had wanted. Tuesday, I slipped a little love letter in his briefcase for him to find while at work. Yesterday, I went to the store (2, actually), and bought some breakfast foods he had been wanting and now can have thanks to our new toaster (my mom's b.day present to him). I had them presented on the counter, along with a magazine I knew he'd enjoy and a serious birthday card, so he was greeted by them when he walked in the door. Today, I slipped another card into the bag I prepared with his lunch (our leftovers), and am baking a cake for him. Tomorrow, once the work week is done, I'll take him out to dinner wherever he wants to go.
And then there's this. Today, on my husband's 31st birthday and the two-month-iversary of our wedding, I got a job! Wasn't really expecting anything to come of this, but a month or two ago a former coworker from my phd program wrote and asked if I'd be interested in possibly teaching a course online. I said I'd be interested and submitted my cv and application, but didn't think anything would come of it. Two days ago, that coworker called and asked if I'd be willing to have a phone interview. I said okay. I had it today at noon, and by 1 p.m., they were offering me the job teaching two sections of Western Civ online.
It's not a lot of money, and if my salary had to be enough to support our family, I'd have to turn it down. But since we always saw my salary as supplemental, to cover those last remaining bills, it's really ok for me at this point to earn only $3,000 per course. I might have to go through this whole job thing in the spring or summer, but at least for right now, it is a complete answer to prayer. It will be enough for us to survive financially, and I will have the flexibility to take care of my husband and our house the way I want to do, and I will probably have the opportunity to volunteer or get involved at church or with a ministry as well.
Talk about your emotional roller coasters! But praise be to God, and God alone, for He is my rock and my salvation!
Can I just say how phenomenally better I've been the last few days? All the cares still exist, but I have had a peace that I can't understand these last few days. It has been a 100% God-given peace, and He alone should get the glory. Hallelujah, amen!
This week has been one of mini celebrations. My husband's birthday is today, and we don't really have any money for me to splurge on a big gift. So I decided to do something every day of the week to make him feel special. Monday, I baked some cinnamon streusel muffins he had wanted. Tuesday, I slipped a little love letter in his briefcase for him to find while at work. Yesterday, I went to the store (2, actually), and bought some breakfast foods he had been wanting and now can have thanks to our new toaster (my mom's b.day present to him). I had them presented on the counter, along with a magazine I knew he'd enjoy and a serious birthday card, so he was greeted by them when he walked in the door. Today, I slipped another card into the bag I prepared with his lunch (our leftovers), and am baking a cake for him. Tomorrow, once the work week is done, I'll take him out to dinner wherever he wants to go.
And then there's this. Today, on my husband's 31st birthday and the two-month-iversary of our wedding, I got a job! Wasn't really expecting anything to come of this, but a month or two ago a former coworker from my phd program wrote and asked if I'd be interested in possibly teaching a course online. I said I'd be interested and submitted my cv and application, but didn't think anything would come of it. Two days ago, that coworker called and asked if I'd be willing to have a phone interview. I said okay. I had it today at noon, and by 1 p.m., they were offering me the job teaching two sections of Western Civ online.
It's not a lot of money, and if my salary had to be enough to support our family, I'd have to turn it down. But since we always saw my salary as supplemental, to cover those last remaining bills, it's really ok for me at this point to earn only $3,000 per course. I might have to go through this whole job thing in the spring or summer, but at least for right now, it is a complete answer to prayer. It will be enough for us to survive financially, and I will have the flexibility to take care of my husband and our house the way I want to do, and I will probably have the opportunity to volunteer or get involved at church or with a ministry as well.
Talk about your emotional roller coasters! But praise be to God, and God alone, for He is my rock and my salvation!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
SSMT 2011 updated
Well, it doesn't look like the job possibillity from yesterday is going to work out for me. Back to job search and applications.
In the meantime, I really am trying to keep my focus in the right place. So to help with that, I'm going to see how many of the verses I'm trying to learn for the Living Proof Siesta Scripture Memory Team 2011 I can write out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Numbers 23:19 - God is not a man, that He should lie. Does He speak and not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?
Daniel 3:17-18 - If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us and will deliver us from your hand, o king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, o king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.
Isaiah 43:19 - See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up - do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Psalm 4:4 - In your anger, do not sin. When you sit on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.
John 10:27-29 - My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hands. My Father, who gave them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hands.
Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, that you may overflow with hope in the power of the Holy Spirit.
1 Peter 5:6-7 - Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.
1 Peter 4:10 - Everyone should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering the grace of God in all its various forms.
John 15:5 - I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing.
Psalm 30:11-12 - You turned my wailing into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Micah 7:7 - But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord. I wait for God my savior; my God will hear me.
Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
Ezekiel 36:26 - I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will removed from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
So, all totaled, if I have a list of the references, I know 12 without any mistakes, forgot or messed up two phrases (the bold ones), and have not quite gotten down my latest verse from August 1st.
I know that what matters is not that I get the phrases exactly right, but that they live in me. Oh Lord, let these words change me!
In the meantime, I really am trying to keep my focus in the right place. So to help with that, I'm going to see how many of the verses I'm trying to learn for the Living Proof Siesta Scripture Memory Team 2011 I can write out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Numbers 23:19 - God is not a man, that He should lie. Does He speak and not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?
Daniel 3:17-18 - If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us and will deliver us from your hand, o king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, o king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.
Isaiah 43:19 - See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up - do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Psalm 4:4 - In your anger, do not sin. When you sit on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.
John 10:27-29 - My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hands. My Father, who gave them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hands.
Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, that you may overflow with hope in the power of the Holy Spirit.
1 Peter 5:6-7 - Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.
1 Peter 4:10 - Everyone should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering the grace of God in all its various forms.
John 15:5 - I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing.
Psalm 30:11-12 - You turned my wailing into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Micah 7:7 - But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord. I wait for God my savior; my God will hear me.
Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
Ezekiel 36:26 - I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will removed from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
So, all totaled, if I have a list of the references, I know 12 without any mistakes, forgot or messed up two phrases (the bold ones), and have not quite gotten down my latest verse from August 1st.
I know that what matters is not that I get the phrases exactly right, but that they live in me. Oh Lord, let these words change me!
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